.:[[ Anger management techniques - Control Your Anger ]]:.
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| Anger management techniques - Control Your Anger |
Every now and then people tend to get angry. In the state of anger, people feel the blood rushing into their veins, find themselves acting irrationally then they regret it later.
It's obvious that anger is an emotion that shouldn't be taken lightly and that serious efforts must be done to control and manage it. By understanding how anger works you will be able to control it instead of making it control you. In this article i will present you with effective anger management techniques that will help you get over your excessive anger problem.
How to effectively manage your anger
Anger is a healthy mechanism launched by your subconscious mind with the aim of helping you in regaining control or defending your rights.
To deal with anger you must first understand the nature of the emotion you are dealing with. After all you can’t fight an invisible enemy. The following examples will help you understand exactly what anger is all about and what triggers it. Understanding what causes anger is the first step towards managing it effectively:
What makes you Angry?
You can get angry when:
- Someone takes your turn while you're waiting in a queue.
- You have a lot of work to do on your slow computer. This will result in stress that will turn into anger.
- When you're in a team and you find a team member neglecting his work and leaving the work to the rest of the group.
- When you feel afraid! Yes, anger could be a consequence of fear. For example when someone nearly crashes into your car you get mad and shout at him. Why did you get mad? Because you were afraid that your car would get smashed. So in this case your anger was a result of fear.
- When someone makes fun of you.
- When you get scolded by your superior at work.
- When your boss gives you loads of work to do.
In all of the previous examples we can see that anger was triggered to preserve your rights (like when someone took your turn), when things didn’t go as you expected (like the slow computer) or as a result of fear (The car crash example).
If you understood these facts you can conclude that you can effectively manage your anger by learning how to control your fears, how to stand up for your rights assertively and how to set realistic expectations for life.
Why you need anger management
Unhealthy anger is totally useless and destructive. For example, cursing your computer won’t make it run faster just like kicking your car won’t make it work.
In such cases you are just wasting your efforts instead of channeling them properly. Learning effective anger management techniques will help you to utilize your anger appropriately instead of directing it elsewhere. When you turn your anger inwards instead of channeling it you may even becomedepressed. one of the known definitions for depression is, anger turned inwards.
When you suppress the emotion of anger instead of managing it properly these suppressed emotions will affect your mood in a negative way. Suppressed emotions will always leak through bad dreams,unexplained bad mood or sudden bursts of unexplained anger.
To make the idea even clearer, imagine that you're angry with your boss. Even though you're fuming, you probably won't do anything to show it ,Instead, you will just go home and find yourself shouting at your kids for the slightest thing. In this case You've directed your anger towards something (an innocent person instead of managing it properly).
Breakups and Anger management
In my book How to get over anyone in few days i explained how there are five stages for recovery from breakups that people must go through before they can forget about someone they loved.
The second one of these stages is anger where the person feels that he wants to take revenge from this person who dumped him. Thus learning how to control your anger can help you get over stage two quickly and so increase your speed of recovery from breakups.
Anger is just a Signal
Anger is like any other emotion. It’s a
message sent by your mind in order to force you to take an action. It’s a healthy emotion that can be channeled and properly utilized by using effective anger management techniques. Channeling it incorrectly will turn it from a destructive force to a useful and constructive one.
Controlling anger :
Anger is a bad emotion, not only can it result in letting you make more enemies but it can also damage your internal organs. Studies found that people who get angry more often are more likely to face health problems.
Because of this reason and many other reasons i decided to write this post to help you learn how to tame your anger and get over it.
The following is a very practical list that will help you control your anger effectively instead of letting it control you.
Note that each technique will be effective in helping you deal with anger on its own but knowing all of them will help you select whichever suits you. It will be much helpful to read first about the reasons that can make someone angry before you continue reading about the anger management techniques.
Here are The effective anger management methods:
- Controlling your self talk: your self talk are the words and phrases that you use while you're thinking. Examples of self talk phrases are “I am sure he will be late as usual” and “my boss is going to assign me loads of work to do today”. As you can see these self talk phrases influence your emotions and can result in anger. By controlling the self talk using CBT or any other technique you will be able to prevent your anger bouts. After getting angry, self talk can play a major role in either intensifying the way you feel or make you chill out. Controlling your self talk is one of the most effective anger management methods
- Anger management and assertiveness: in case your anger was a result of a violation of your rights then nothing can make control your anger effectively better than learning how to ask for your rights assertively . Assertiveness is the way of communication that allows you to stand up for your rights without violence or aggressiveness.
- Wash your face: Another effective and easy anger management technique is washing your face. If you get angry in a place where you can wash your face then do it. It will reduce your anger and make you feel calmer.
- Change your physical position: if you got angry while standing then sit down. If you got angry while you are sitting then lay down. changing your physical position is another effective anger management technique that can be done in seconds and anywhere
- Relaxation and anger management: Relaxation techniques can help you control most of your unwanted emotions including anger. Relaxation helps you to feel much more in control and so can help in reducing your anger. Relaxation techniques are simple and can be applied anywhere and anytime. If you practiced relaxation techniques often they could become a part of your normal response to events that trigger your undesired emotions.
- Controlling your anger emotion: contrary to common beliefs Emotions can actually be controlled. While the initial phase of a certain emotion may be out of control the choice to continue feeling that emotion or to forget about it is up to you.
- Workout or run: Another very effective anger management technique is working out. Not only will sports help you reduce your anger but In addition you will notice that your performance will be much more better in comparison to your performance in a normal state because of the excessive energy of anger
- Breakups and anger:In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that there are five stages a person must go through in order to recover from a breakup. The second stage is the stage of anger and if you didn't learn how to control your anger properly at this stage you might not be able to get over the breakup!!
Carried over anger
There is another type of anger, which can't be easily noticed, but has some deadly effects. Some people are always angry because of things that happened to them in the past.
A person who fears to trust others is actually angry at them. A man who believes that life is unfair is angry at life itself.
This kind of anger keeps accumulating inside the person's mind and damages his health without he notices. Don't just focus on getting rid of instant anger but also learn how to release this carried over anger you collected over the years.
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