Anger management

I don't care about anyone or anything i will just kill him
This is all happening because of those stupid people

Do these phrases sound familiar?
I bet that you have been through at least one situation where similar thoughts came to your mind.

Rage is a late stage of anger where a person suddenly becomes extremely aggressive, physically alert and out of control.

Its not unusual for a person to break an object or to hurt someone badly while experiencing rage. Now the question is, why does rage feel good? Why do people who experience rage feel better as soon as they lose their temper? This is the question i am going to answer in this article.

Why does rage feel so good

Anger is an emotion that is usually experienced when a person feels that his rights got violated. In such a case the purpose of anger is to motivate a person to take his rights back. So even if anger is a bad emotion in some cases it still has a useful purpose.

But what is the purpose of an emotion that makes a person destroy the objects in his own house?

The main purpose of rage is to help the person become in control and that's why it feels so good. A person will experience rage when he believes that he has completely lost control. Right before experiencing rage a person might feel hurt, helpless or humiliated.

Because those feelings can make any person feel really bad rage comes as the magical soloution that instantly helps a person feel strong, powerful and in control.

As soon as a person experiences rage his mental state changes from being helpless to being superiorto the attacker. After all if you are going to break someone's neck then certainly you will believe that you are superior to him.

Rage and emotional stability

Why do people start breaking objects?
When a person breaks an object ,even if it belonged to him, he starts to feel more in control over his environment.

Because anger involves a perceived loss of control over the environment any action that helps a person feel in control, even for a short period of time, will help him feel better.

The problem that happens later is that as soon as the person calms down his rage might turn into guilt and mental exhaustion.

Depressed people usually start crying right after experiencing a state of rage. Again anger helps those people feel in control but as soon as it ends their depression comes back in addition to guilt and as a result they feel like wanting to cry.

Both Rage and anger are bad for your mental and physical health and even if rage can make you feel good for a short period of time it will soon make you feel worse. Try to avoid them as much as you can.

why are some people always angry

I am sure you know one of those people who are always angry
Why do those people shout all the time?
and why do they lose their temper whenever the slightest thing happens?

In this article i will explain why are some people always angry.

Our perception changes whenever our emotions change

Research has shown that our perception changes depending on the emotional state we experience.

For example, after watching an action movie or playing video games that are full of violence some people report to be more aggressive. Even though the effect is temporary still its quite noticeable.

So if something changed your emotional state your perception of the same situation might change completely and you will see it from a complete different angle.

For example if you were trying to fix something at your home you might not become irritated if you didn't manage to do it at the first attempt but if any other event happened and made you become a little irritated then you might find the same task completely irritating even though you were OK with it few moments ago.

So what does this has to do with being angry all the time?

No what if someone had a big problem in his life that trapped him in a certain mood all the time? What if someone failed to achieve a certain important goal in his life or felt that life is not fair?

Won't that person be angry all the time? he will be angry all the time and his perception of all situations will be affected by his anger, thus he will appear to be bad tempered all the time.

In the Solid Self confidence program i also said that people who feel that they didn't manage to reach their life goals feel worthless all the time and this affects their perception of each situation that they encounter. They might feel that others are making fun of them even when other people aren't even noticing them.

Anger and fear

Yesterday I was taking a friend of mine to the bus that will take her back home in another city that is four hours away. Since she was going to spend 4 hours without food I had to go and buy her some things to eat while being in the bus but a lady who works there suddenly shouted at me and told me “Its not allowed to bring these things into the bus and if you are going to give them to your friend I will let her leave the bus in the middle of the road”

Suddenly I became very angry and I shouted at her, I told her “Give me your name and the bus number, I will call your boss and show you the consequences of talking to customers like that”

The lady then came and apologized and told me that we she was just kidding and since my friend is an expert in lying detection she told me that the lady was honest.

I was angry because I was afraid

Behind anger always lies fear, Even if the angry person appears to be strong and in control fear will always be the reason behind his anger.

I was afraid that the lady does what she said which is leaving my friend in the middle of the highway alone. My fear that my friend gets treated badly made me angry and so anger was there to protect me from my fears.

If I knew that she was kidding (even though she didn’t) I would have just said “what a weird way to joke” but since I was afraid my anger exploded.

The relationship between anger and fear

Whenever you find yourself angry just ask yourself one question, what am I afraid of?
If you found yourself shouting at another driver then you might find that you were afraid of the damage that was going to happen to your car.

If you found that you are angry at a lazy employee then most probably you will find that you were afraid that your company performs bad or that your own manager evaluates you poorly.

If you were angry at someone who made fun of you then you might find that you were afraid of what people might say about you if you didn't take strong actions.

Anger and depression

One of the main causes for depression is suppressed anger. If your rights were constantly violated and if you didn't manage to channel the resulting anger correctly you will end up depressed.

Anger management

Anger management is deeper than controlling your breath or counting from one to ten because unless you have a deep understanding of your fears you might be wasting your time on techniques that will never work. One of the vital steps for controlling anger is learning how to control your fears.

If you found a person angry and shouting then try to understand the reasons that are behind his anger so that you can comfort him. For example If your boss told you “you are always late” never tell him “I understand that you are afraid that people might say that you are a weak manager but instead say “I am sorry, I know this might affect my scorecard and I will be on time starting tomorrow”. Instead of shouting at him and saying that he is bossy just understand his fears and comfort him and he will become calm again in minutes.